No. Foster care is not like the story of Tracy Beaker. Not typically anyway.
I didn’t live in a children’s home and I never had the fantasy that one day my mum would come rescue me and we would live happily ever after.
I was angry though. However, not at my mother. I was angry at social services for taking me away from everything I ever knew. I have never ever and will never doubt the love my mother had for my siblings and I or even that she tried HER best. We were always dressed the best, clean and fed. Unfortunately though, love isn’t enough especially when that person is trying to fight demons of their own.
I’ve been in care since the age of 9 and I have had three foster homes. My younger brother, sister and I were placed in one home, my youngest sister in another. That was until they were both adopted by their aunt in Jamaica (but that’s another story).
My brother and I still currently live at our third home. We have lived here for over 11 years, I stopped feeling like a foster child years ago. It became so much more than that, so much deeper than the stigma that looms over the expectations of what the relationship between the career and foster child should be like.
My experience in care is like one of luxury compared to stories I’ve heard and I sometimes feel guilty for that.
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always easy, I even threatened to burn the house down a few times.
But with the Love, nurture and consistency I received, I was then able to learn how to manage the issues of my past to prevent them from overriding the blessings of my future.
Now that I’ve grown up, I’m no longer angry with social services decision to remove me from my home. I’m actually grateful. I would not be the person I am today, had the opportunities I’ve had and I definitely wouldn’t be writing this.
With love, Akira Kay x